Film Review: Fly Me to the Moon
by Dan Persons
Houseflies hitch a ride on the Apollo 11 moon mission. It’s a kids film shot in 3D CG. And, man, is it painful.
It’s hard to capture how peculiar a misfire FLY ME TO THE MOON is, but lemme try: At the beginning of the film, we’re shown some “archival” footage of a chimp experiencing the stresses of a rocket launch. It’s meant to be a comic moment, contrasting the solemnity of your typical man-into-space documentary with the embarrassing reality of what a face looks like undergoing excessive g-forces. But the sequence falls completely flat, betrayed by the grotesque distortion of the chimp’s features and the look of abject terror in its eyes. Oh yeah, high-larious.
Another example: At the very end, the real Buzz Aldren shows up solely to insist that no flies (or as he bizarrely refers to them, “contamination”) stowed away on Apollo 11. Why the producers would call upon a bona-fide American hero to play Buzzkill Aldrin and neutralize the fulcrum upon which the film’s plot hinges is beyond strange. While they were at it, they may as well have had the guy wrap up by saying, “Oh, and kids, just say no to drugs.”
And so it goes throughout: The drama is wince-inducing; the humor falls flat (just because you have one character refer to her deity as “Lord of the Flies” doesn’t make you SHREK); the putty-like features of the insects are unattractive while the humans look like soulless mannequins; and some 3D tracking shots seem specifically designed to make you hurl (and I’m speaking as one who regularly enjoyed the notoriously yak-inducing MISSION: SPACE at Disney World). There’s a cleverly mounted zero-g ballet midway through, and a lot of effort appears to have been invested in making the spacecraft look as historically accurate as possible, but that’s meager reward for enduring the rest of the mediocrity.
As for the target audience: Well, once past that perplexing chimp prologue, the kids at the screening I attended did seem to get into it (although most of them ironically treated the film’s major set piece — the moon landing — as the perfect opportunity for a bathroom run). Director Ben Stassen’s previous credits include the well-regarded theme park ride film DEVIL’S MINE and such less-well-regarded theme-park-ride-films-masquerading-as-IMAX-3D-features HAUNTED CASTLE and ALIEN ADVENTURE. While his tech seems to be stuck somewhere in the late 90’s, it’s clear his heart is most dedicated towards getting the biggest bang out of his nuts-and-bolts (check those exquisitely detailed spacecraft) and not so much with crafting a compelling narrative.
Only for those equipped with an eight year-old and a fistful of Dramamine.
FLY ME TO THE MOON (Summit Entertainment, 2008; 84 mins.) Directed by Ben Stassen. Voice Cast: Tim Curry, Adrienne Barbeau, Christopher Lloyd, Kelly Ripa.
I appreciate the reference to “theme-park-ride-films-masquerading-as-IMAX-3D-features HAUNTED CASTLE and ALIEN ADVENTURE.” I saw both of those at Universal Studios Citywalk in Hollywood, back when they had both an IMAX theatre and a Showscan motion-simulater ride. I kept wondering, “Why are they showing this here in the IMAX theatre instead of the Showscan screening room almost literally next door?”