This movie is so absolutely godawful that it’s almost impossible to know where to begin listing its faults. Perhaps the best place would be its story, which is just an empty rehash of what came before. As bad as I KNOW WHAT YOU DID LAST SUMMER was, at least the plot had a bit of an idea built in, with a group of characters haunted not just by a hook-wielding psycho-killer but by their own guilty complicity that has made them targets. Well, the ending of that film pretty much exonerated everyone involved: sure, they’d run somebody over and tried to hide the victim’s body and then tried to kill him when he turned out to be alive-but hey, he was a homicidal son-of-a-bitch even before all that, so what are they feeling guilty about?
Since there’s no more guilt involved, the continuing jeopardy of the returning characters makes no psychological or dramatic sense; it’s just a matter of milking cheap thrills from a shriveled premise. Even that wouldn’t go very far, as there are only two targets for the hook-handed fisherman (Muse Watson) this time out. The script conveniently ignores this and simply has him kill everyone else in the movie first (as some kind of warm up? just to pass the time?) before finally setting his sights on the kids who ran him over two years ago.
The result is a gory horror thriller that is utterly mechanical in execution and damn near unwatchable for anyone with any interest in good cinema. But heartfelt thanks must go out to Jennifer Love Hewitt, who respectfully hangs her blouse at half mast throughout in honor of the brain-dead script, and especially to actor Jeffrey Combs, whose brief, amusing appearance is the only reason this loser does not get a zero-star rating.
I STILL KNOW WHAT YOU DID LAST SUMMER (Columbia, November 1998). Director: Danny Caution. Writer: Trey Calloway. 101 min. Rated R. With: Jennifer Love Hewitt, Freddie Prinze Jr., Brandy, Mekhi Phifer, Muse Watson, Jeffrey Combs.
Copyright 1999 by Steve Biodrowski
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